Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A short letter

To all critics of mommies who live in sweatpants:

Next time you pull a freshly laundered outfit directly from the dryer, put it on, and have your child explosively poop all over it 12 minutes later, then criticize those of us who sometimes don't bother to put in the effort.

Signed, a mommy in sweats (who was in a pretty dress earlier)

Monday, August 29, 2011

Mommy Vacation

First time away from kids for multiple days due to a fabulous girlfriend's wedding...

Mommy was able to do the following:

Get a manicure
Drink more than my fair share of wine
Drink hot coffee -- not cold and not chugged
Have uninterrupted adult conversations
Have 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep
Wear jewelry
Wear hair in non-ponytail style
Read a grown-up book
Pee in peace


So my two-year old starts "school" next week (a Children's Day Out program one day a week) and all of his belongings need to be labeled.... Sure. Got it. No problem.

Some of my crafty and much more together mommy friends ask if

 1) did I create and print my own labels
 2) did I buy them online.

So I guess my plan to label everything with a masking tape / permanent marker combo won't do?

Monday, August 8, 2011

The Case of the Missing Poop

When child poops in underpants and Mommy pulls them down to do some damage control, chances are the "treasure" inside said underpants could fall out...

and roll away...

and get lost.

When people get ready to have kids, they can probably anticipate certain scenarios. You know you will be changing diapers. You know you will be puked on, and maybe peed on occasionally. But how many people can envision themselves crawling around the bathroom floor on their hands and knees searching for a missing ball of their child's poop?