Thursday, July 3, 2014

The Empty Sink Mystery

There is a phenomenon that I have seen evident in other mommies' homes: the empty sink. This does not exist in my house. EVER. At least not for more than 3 consecutive minutes. Why is this impossible? Because the dishes in the dishwasher are always clean, waiting to be put away. Always. (Well it seems that way.)

I have attended events -- either during the day with the kids or in the evening with just us moms -- at friends' houses. And the mommy hosting has usually cooked, baked, or at least prepared some snacks. Often, her counters are clean and her sink is empty. Not one dish. How in the...? This takes great skill and timing. A mommy who is hosting an event and making food must have her dishwasher empty, or at least semi-empty to allow space for the dirty dishes used in food prep. This means... turn back the clock.. that the previous load of dishes needed to have been run and emptied in enough time to load the new dirty dishes before company arrives. This means... keep turning back clock... that the morning load of dishes (which was dirty when Mom woke up because she could not wait to plop down onto the couch last night with her glass of wine after bedtime and she forgot to run it) needed to be run and emptied in time to do the mid-day load...

Laundry is the same way in my house. Please tell me that everyone else's husband and children live out of laundry baskets of folded clothes. They are constantly asking:
"Where is my pink skirt?" (daughter)
"Where is my Ironman sweatshirt?" (son)
"Where are ANY of my underwear? " (husband)

My answer: "Clean. Folded. Basket. Not the one at the top of the stairs. The one farther down the hall. No? It wasn't in there? Okay... try the one on the couch. Downstairs."

If your family does NOT live out of folded clothes baskets and the clothes actually make their way back into closets and drawers, please tell me how this works. Also, you are probably a person with an empty dishwasher. How?

Anatomy lessons with a 1-year old boy

Our pediatrician asked if we were working on identifying body parts with our 1-year old son. Here is how it goes in bath:

"Where is... your foot? No, that's your penis."

"Where is... your nose? No, that's your penis."

"Where is...  your tummy? Nope. Also your penis."


"Where is your penis? Yes, that's right."

Will try again tomorrow.