Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The police report

Upon discovering an ocean of pee on the bathroom floor:

Me: "How did this happen?"

My 3-year old son: "The pee came out of my penis and went all over the floor."

Me: "I see that. I mean, why is the pee not in the potty?"

Him: "Because I was standing here while the pee came out."

Me: "Ok. Why weren't you sitting on the potty when the pee came out?"

Him: "Because I ran out of time. There is no more pee in my penis now, Mommy."

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Environment: 1. Mommy: 0.

Thank you to a fellow mommy friend who allowed me to poach her story. (See previous post on "making memories.")

Mommy is shopping with two of her kids in Target when the dreaded occurs...

Her 2-year old daughter looks up at her, pale, and covering her mouth. Before Mommy has a chance to process or plan her next move, it happens -- all over herself, her older brother, the cart, the items in the cart, and of course all over Mommy who "uses her coat, her hands, and herself to catch it."

Well, Mommy figures she has to make her way to the bathroom to make a more than likely futile attempt at cleaning it up. After dragging the pukey crew through the aisles and past ghastly expressions on fellow shoppers' faces, she finds the bathroom. However...

Target has gone green. No paper towels.

Fortunately motherhood has taught her the importance of laughter in order to survive the insanity. Once she has pukey and her brother in the car, she starts to laugh. Her son asks why, to which she responds that they were "just making memories."

Thank you for sharing, friend!