Monday, May 16, 2011


My two year old son still confuses using "I" with "you." This is cute in such phrases as...

"You want to watch Elmo, Mommy!"
"You want some juice, please."
"You put your shoes on by yourself."

Also endearing.... "You wear big boy underpants."

However, this pronoun confusion gets a bit awkward when he says in the bathtub...

"You wash your penis by yourself, Mommy."

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Even though...

Even though my son comes into my room every morning between 5:20 and 5:45, I find joy in the fact that he is always carrying at least two books -- because reading books is the very first thing he wants to do as soon as he opens his eyes. This is made extra special with the same phrase every morning (spoken with a precious 2 year-old lisp): "Want to read these bookths Mommy."

Even though my daughter spits up and/or drools on my face and in my hair every day, I love it because it is due to her wanting to grab Mommy's face and give her version of hugs and wet slobbery kisses.

Even though I sneer at the jiggly belly I cannot -- and may not ever -- lose, I touch my stomach with fondness, pride, and longing for the reason it is so jiggly.

Even though I struggle to get through the day when my husband is out of town, I find a sense of pride in having to do it all myself -- and as I peek in at my kids sleeping peacefully in their beds, I can say to myself that on this day, "You done good Mommy."

Even though I often resent and envy my husband's life out in the world, with grownups, and wearing clothes not off the clearance rack at Kohl's, I am appreciative that he works as hard as he does to provide us with the life we live. And having him gone, while it frustrates me, it makes me remember why we love it so much when he is here.

Friday, May 13, 2011

A few simple requests

Dear child #1... Please wake me up tomorrow morning at 5:45 a.m. Better yet, make it 5:30 -- the earlier the better.

Dear child #2... Tonight please repeat the festivities of last night and scream bloody murder from 9 p.m. to midnight (especially because I asked your brother to wake me up tomorrow at 5:30).

Dear child #1... In the morning, please have a tantrum over me giving you the wrong spoon with breakfast. Also, please throw some sort of utensil or breakfast dish -- it does not matter which one -- as long as it makes oatmeal fly all over the room.

Dear child #2... Please continue with your new trend of screaming as if you are in pain when Mommy is out of the room, only to smile and coo as soon as she reappears. Please try to do this as often as possible while your brother is also freaking out over something ridiculous. Mommy likes it best when you both cry at once.

Dear child #1 and #2... Please continue to stagger your naps so that there is no more than 10 minutes overlap. You know how Mommy hates peace and quiet.

Dear husband.... Please extend your work trip a few more weeks. The past few weeks without you here have been so pleasant that I would like more time alone with the children.

Dear body... Please continue to refuse to lose the last few pounds of baby weight despite my efforts at exercising. Keep up the stubbornness.

Dear coffee maker.... Please continue to not magically make coffee before I emerge at 6 a.m. with a hyper, wide awake toddler.

Dear house... Please continue to be a disaster, especially after I spend 2 straight hours cleaning (like you did yesterday -- good work on that one.)

Dear car... Please continue to follow house's lead.

Dear sanity... Please come back.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I will beat you pool!

Like many moms I know, I resist admitting that I am struggling or need help with my life as Mommy. My husband travels quite a bit for work and has been gone 2 weeks now, and life as a single mom has been a challenge with a toddler in the throws of "terrible twos" and a teething 5 month old. I have held it together for the most part, mostly by allowing the house to fall to shambles, living on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and having a nightly glass of some sort of alcohol after the kids go to bed. Last night, however, I had reached my limit with patience and sanity and let it all out in a battle with the pool.

With a weather forecast of 95 degrees, I rushed out to buy a blow-up pool for the kids to enjoy yesterday afternoon. It's a big one -- comfortably fits 4 adults, so I needed to borrow Grandpa's air compressor to blow it up and fill it with water for an hour. After all of this, plus slathering two kids with sunscreen and getting them both in "swim diapers", we enjoyed a cool hour in our new pool. However, I realized after they were in bed last night that I needed to drain the pool and bring it in to the garage before the impending thunderstorm. Hmmmm..... how to tackle this project....

I pressed down on one side to drain some water, but this only allowed a small amount of water out. After several attempts at this, I resorted to locating my largest pot (hey -- might as well use it for something since it collects dust in my cabinet!) to scoop the water out. This continued for about 30 minutes until I THOUGHT enough water was drained to allow me to lift and flip the pool. Try to picture the sight.... Mommy outside all alone lifting one side, only to have the other sides fold in.... lift another side -- repeat effect. Also, periodically Mommy loses her balance in the fight and falls on the pool. With each attempt Mommy's language becomes progressively more profane and her clothes become progressively wetter and muddier. FINALLY after 45 minutes of battling our new blow-up pool, the darn thing flipped over, drained, and I was able to drag it into the garage. I wiped the hair out of my face, changed into dry, clean clothes, and sat down to a Corona.

I realized about 25 minutes into this battle as I was shouting words I hoped my kids did not hear that this fight was necessary for me to win -- I would prevail. I would beat the pool. Mommy can do this. Mommy can handle being a single mom while Daddy is out of town for weeks. She can do ALL the cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, disciplining, gas-getting, yard maintaining, oil-changing, bill paying, hugging, teaching, band-aiding, and --- pool setup and clean-up! And she will, damn it, because she is Mom.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mothers Day

Original Mothers Day fantasy....

Husband wakes up with kids at their usual 6:00 a.m., changes diapers, takes them downstairs quietly, and entertains them until Mommy wakes up at 8 a.m. to the smell of fresh coffee. Later they take simultaneous 2 hour naps while husband runs to grocery store to shop for an amazing gourmet feast he will prepare later.

Modified Mothers Day fantasy upon realizing husband will be out of town for work....

Kids miraculously sleep in until 7 a.m. and then spend the first hour of the morning playing quietly while Mommy enjoys her coffee. Again, they sleep simultaneously for 2 hours and do not whine, fuss, complain all day. Also, nobody poops, pees, or pukes through any clothes.

Actual run-down of Mothers Day 2011....

Baby awake from 4:30 - 6:00 a.m. with bellyache. Toddler awake at 6:30 having somehow peed through his diaper and soaked his clothes and sheets. Toddler meltdown #1 occurs at 7 a.m. over having to brush his teeth. At the restaurant where Mommy stupidly attempted a Mothers Day breakfast out with the kids, baby screams bloody murder until she pukes on Mommy. Toddler meltdown #2 occurs at 12:30 over having to take a nap. Said nap never occurs. Thankfully Mommy's sanity is restored when both kids are asleep in bed at 7:30 and Mommy sits down in her messy house to a good book and a glass of wine.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Just making memories....

I was introduced to the concept of "making memories" by my sister and brother-in-law (also parents of a toddler). The idea is to view our most embarrassing, frustrating, painful, etc. experiences with our toddlers as simply "making memories."

We have made some memories lately in our house.....

When I had to carry my 2 year old out of the zoo kicking and screaming while simultaneously pushing the stroller, I was just making memories.

When my toddler pressed the "automatic door" button in our van and the door almost crushed Mommy who was putting his sister in her car seat, we were just making memories.

When my toddler (yep -- him again) dropped our laptop causing $800 worth of damage, that is okay, because he was making memories.

When a button popped off of my shirt and flew across the room at a play date because it was still too tight to fit over my milk-filled boobs, no worries -- just making memories.

And finally, when I attempted to give my 4 month old a loving kiss and she puked in my mouth, Mommy did not mind, because she and baby were just making memories.

I guess I really should start scrapbooking after all.