Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mothers Day

Original Mothers Day fantasy....

Husband wakes up with kids at their usual 6:00 a.m., changes diapers, takes them downstairs quietly, and entertains them until Mommy wakes up at 8 a.m. to the smell of fresh coffee. Later they take simultaneous 2 hour naps while husband runs to grocery store to shop for an amazing gourmet feast he will prepare later.

Modified Mothers Day fantasy upon realizing husband will be out of town for work....

Kids miraculously sleep in until 7 a.m. and then spend the first hour of the morning playing quietly while Mommy enjoys her coffee. Again, they sleep simultaneously for 2 hours and do not whine, fuss, complain all day. Also, nobody poops, pees, or pukes through any clothes.

Actual run-down of Mothers Day 2011....

Baby awake from 4:30 - 6:00 a.m. with bellyache. Toddler awake at 6:30 having somehow peed through his diaper and soaked his clothes and sheets. Toddler meltdown #1 occurs at 7 a.m. over having to brush his teeth. At the restaurant where Mommy stupidly attempted a Mothers Day breakfast out with the kids, baby screams bloody murder until she pukes on Mommy. Toddler meltdown #2 occurs at 12:30 over having to take a nap. Said nap never occurs. Thankfully Mommy's sanity is restored when both kids are asleep in bed at 7:30 and Mommy sits down in her messy house to a good book and a glass of wine.

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