2:40 AM..... You wake up to feed baby. Back asleep at 3:30.
5:25 AM..... You wake up to see toddler standing next to your bed holding 6 books. He announces, "I read all these books" followed by, with great pride, "I pooted."
5:45 AM..... You park newly diapered toddler on couch in front of Sesame Street and take an 8 minute shower.
8:35 AM..... You arrive at church. (Although you have now been awake for more than 3 hours, you are, of course late, so you must sit in the front row with your children who have not yet learned "church voices.")
8:42 AM..... (7 minutes later) While congregation quietly listens to pastor, baby makes very audible poop.
8:43 AM..... (1 minute later) You feel an alarming warmth all over your lap and down your pant leg. You look down to learn that -- yup, you are covered in poop. Baby looks at you and smiles.
8:44 AM..... You bow your head to pray and thank God for all of the wonderful gifts in your life.